Rebound

Life is crazy and the blog is suffering, so I'm sharing something I wrote to friends last year that isn't really up to blogging standard but I hope may be slightly entertaining. I used made-up names for friends who would find it easier, but you can read a proper blurb over at Stella Lee, from whence I stole this lovely photo:
 
Too sick (morning sickness will apparently never end) to do anything except watch TV, but out of good shows so I tried picking a random show from hulu and watched a very problematic Japanese comedy about an obese girl who loses weight to work at a fashion magazine, is sent off to write cake reviews and subsequently gets force fed cake by a violent patissiere she falls in love with but who causes her to regain all her weight and then says he won’t date “fat chicks“. Do I watch episode 2 in morbid curiosity or try to erase it from my memory?!

OK, I have braved the disturbing world of "Rebound" and am ready to share the exciting events of episodes 2-5.

At the end of episode 1 Prince had declared his love for Piglet, who had "rebounded" to obesity (a fat suit) as a result of his cakes, but tells her he can't date "fat chicks". She's already at the shop when he says that and before she can leave he sees her and, not recognizing her, assumes she is his new part time employee. She plays along, calling herself Choko. She was also fired from her job at the fashion magazine for gaining weight.

In episode 2 Piglet tells Prince that she needs a couple of weeks before she can meet him, and tells him to make her a new cake in the meantime. He suspects that she is playing him and turns to "Choko" for advice. During this period Piglet meets up with an old boyfriend who seems to get off on jiggling her fat. I shall call him Feeder. Her employer also tells her that if she can lose the weight in two weeks she can have her job back. She admits herself to a weight-loss clinic and undergoes various painful looking procedures before getting back down to 40-somthing kilos. In the meantime Prince is desperately drowning his insecurities in cake. At the end of the episode Piglet calls him to say they can meet and he has a delicious cake delivered to her, but it turns out that now he has become obese.

Episode 3 is largely Piglet trying to deal with the fact that she doesn't want to date Prince now that he's fat. In this episode we learn that he was obese as a child and his unhappy memories are why he wont date fat women, so his comments in eps 1 and 2 are totally justified while "women only care about appearance" and are shallow. He starts calling "Choko" and suggests they should date instead since they are both fat. At the same time Feeder ends up working liaison with Piglet's company. He tells her he always liked her the way she was and suggests they date again. Just as she seems tempted, Prince has another new cake delivered to her, and realizing that even though the only thing she liked about him was his looks she actually also really likes his cakes, so she goes running to him... and he has also lost weight. Now they are both skinny they can finally shag, so they run off to a hotel. However, both get up in the night to down diet pills.

Episode 4 starts out with them waking in the hotel then going to the gym together where they commiserate about to horrors of growing up fat while obsessively exercising. Their excessive lovie-dovieness quickly begins to tire them both and they both keep chugging down diet pills despite warnings of dangerous side-effects. Still feeling insecure Prince tries to rush into marriage but Piglet gets cold feet when she realises he expects her to quit her job right as she is offered a promotion of sorts in the form of a company trip to Paris. He makes her a giant pink wedding cake but she says that isn't the cake she wants, she wants a "I'll support your career" cake. He then gets depressed and wallows around in the wedding cake and she feels bad, so she quits her job and hands back the plane ticket. Not knowing this, Prince shows up and with a "I actually totally support your career" cake and takes her to the airport, telling her to have fun in Paris but not to gain weight or he'll dump her.

Episode 5 Not able to actually go to Paris or afford a hotel, Piglet is offered a place to stay by Feeder, who knows the whole story. He takes her to a hotel, orders a bunch of room service and threatens to tell Prince everything unless she eats it. As they scuffle her diet pills all end up in the toilet. He then takes her to her old company to try and get her job back. As they wait to speak to her old boss, a fashion designer who had announced a partnership with the magazine says he will cancel their contract unless the magazine staff eat 200 cakes. They can't manage it and Piglet steps in, eating all the cakes, saving the day and getting her job back. She once again "rebounds" and confesses everything to Prince who says he is sick of her lies and tells her not to come back.

How will it end? Well, I did watch the whole thing but it turned into a pretty ordinary love triangle then "oh no, filial obligation or love?" drama after episode 5 and got kind of dull to write up, so you'll just have to watch it yourselves. It is worth holding on for the end though... they make a deep-fried pork cake. For realsies.